I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
