just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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