You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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