well you can't waste a boner
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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