I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
