; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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