I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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