FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
