shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
