is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
