oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
