Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
