Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
