Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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