i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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