Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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