In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
