when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
