ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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