You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
