What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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