There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
