I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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