He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
