we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
