you guys were way drunker than both of me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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