i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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