He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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