I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
