We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you had me at cake vodka
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
