i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
