I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
