My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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