hotel room ftw
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Fuck appropriateness.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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