I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
