You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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