i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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