You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
