I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
