I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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