My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
