I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
