Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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