my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I need to stop coming to work sober
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
