Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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