I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
