i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
