Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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