Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
