new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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