its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
